Do you have problems with erection?
Question:
I have been having some problems with erections, but only when I am with my partner.
This problem is going since I was 19 years old and I don’t have erectile problems when I am with myself.
I am using some medications to help me with the problem, but I want to be able to perform without the medicine.
I feel paranoia when I am with my partner and when the erection should occur. I feel like this could be the end of my sexual life if I stop using medicine.
Can maybe sex therapy help me?
Answer:
It seems like sex therapy could be one of the ways that can help you solve your problem.
It looks like you’ve been having this problem for a while now and it has been coming from your teen years, when your body was still in form.
The reason of your erectile dysfunction is yet to be discovered but it seems that your problem has a very distinctive pattern. When you are sexually stimulated by your partner, you have a emotional reaction.
If you want to solve your problem, you need to find out what is the cause of this reaction and after that you will know how to change it.
The response comes under certain condition because every action has its reaction. The most usual response becomes a pattern during a period of time.
You have said that you feel paranoia when you need to have an erection with your partner, so your problem is not physical, but it is psychical. That is why the medications help because they ensure you that the problem will not happen, so the paranoia doesn’t come.
You should try to have sexual intercourse without the medications because otherwise you will never resolve this problem.
Paranoia can act as sabotage – your brain can’t tell your body to react as is it should because of that blockade.
There have to be some positive changes that should act encouraging so the fear and paranoia can’t affect your performance. But, you can’t think that the problem will disappear overnight.
You need to solve one thing at the time.
As you said, you don’t have problems with erection while you are alone, so you need to pull in your partner in that condition.
For example, think of your partner and try to arouse while doing that. You can have a sexual fantasy with your partner in it and see if you will have then problems with erection. You need to think positive on the idea of sex with your partner and once you adopt that idea, start to make the fantasy real, but slowly.
Start with some sexual games and do not put pressure on yourself. Even though the problem is still there, continue with the game and just try to enjoy it.
If you put pressure on yourself, you will have problems with resolving the problem.
If you don’t feel any pressure, you will not feel paranoia, fear or any other negative emotion that stopped you from enjoying before. Without the pressure, you will give your body the chance to respond as it should.
Remember if problem was here for years, so it can’t disappear over one night.
If you involve sex therapy in resolving the problem you will surely succeed. The therapy can help you to discover the actual cause of the problem and you can start working on it. Slowly, you will begin to have sexual intercourses without the fear, paranoia or medications.
Also, do not put pressure on yourself to be normal, because every other human has its idea of normal.
Instead, try to be happy, satisfied and fulfilled in your relationship and alone.
Reference: http://health.msn.co.nz/8374784/How-do-I-fix-erection-problems
